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My life.

Sometimes I think I need to figure out what I really want in life. I know I'm young and all, but I'm going to need to know how to decide which way my life is going to go without wasting any time.

On one hand, I want to travel around the world, go wherever my heart tells me, without any time limits or any reason to leave. I don't want a job, a family, property, a car; I just want to be free. I won't need money, I'll just hitchhike or travel on a bike, really slowly. I just want to do things on a whim, without any plans, whatsoever. I want to be FREE.

But, on the other hand, I want kids, a family, a big house and a bit of money so I don't feel overwhelmed with all the mouths I need to feed. And, I want A LOT of kids. I'm talking more than 10, if my body will allow it. I want my life to be planned out perfectly so I'll always know what to expect.

If I pick the first one, I'll have an amazing life. I was thinking I could do some youth ministry work or a daycare center or something so I could still be around kids. I'd just have to leave them at some point because I hate being in one place for more than a month.
If I pick the second one, I'd still have amazing life, and the kids would be mine. I'd be stuck in the same place for a long time, though, but I'm sure I'd get used to it. I'd have to learn how to COOK. Oh no, that's an area I'm worried about. Haha.

I could do both. I could travel, and maybe I'd meet some amazing guy halfway through and we'd travel a bit together; get to know each other; get married; have a family. Live happily ever after. That would be so cool.

I'm only fifteen. This doesn't really matter too much, does it? I'm thinking it does because of school. Either of those choices don't really depend much on school, do they? I'd definitely not work, either way. The first choice, I wouldn't need money, and the second choice, I'd DEFINITELY stay home with my kids. I think if I go to college, it's kind of a waste of four years, or so. In the long run, I'm dead, so does school really matter? Four years is a pretty big chunk of life!

Maybe I'll just wait. :) I wouldn't want to waste my childhood thinking about my adulthood. I'll just stay busy doing childish things. I just wish my dad wouldn't get embarrassed when I do something that a fifteen year old should be doing. He thinks I should act like I'm thirty. What a waste.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 14th, 2008 03:40 am (UTC)
Dear one, let the universe do its thing. These details will all find themselves falling into your hands at the appropriate time. All you have to do right now is be who you are and take care of yourself.

You're right, you don't need to think about these things yet. Enjoy life! It's what all the successful people do, even if they're lounging in multimillion dollar homes.

Success is not spelled out for everyone, and some have the delightful surprise of having it unfold before them, no pressure added.

Let it unfold before you, taking each day as the gift that it is.

YOU are a gift; remember that.
Apr. 14th, 2008 03:49 am (UTC)
I wish I knew you.

Thanks for the words of advice; I forget sometimes that things will happen no matter what.

You're amazing. I love you.
Apr. 14th, 2008 01:17 pm (UTC)
You do know me, as you know which ray of light falls upon your face, the sound of rain in the morning tapping on your window and down the face of your car.

I'm right there.

-YOU'RE- amazing. I love you too.
Apr. 14th, 2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
Hey pepp
I posted to all of you in rosepetalsalad this morning, I saw it post on my friends page, but its gone now. Weird.
Anyway here it is~
I'm far from the perfect parent. Believe me, I make mistakes. Y'all were so sweet to me last week. Especially since the mood was so low at our house. The girls (all y'all) are under so much pressure right now, end of year.
Why did they schedule SATs in the middle of finals?
Sometimes I speak out of love.
Sometimes I speak out of fear/love.
Love must prevail.
I know the girls (you) are more than the total of their (your) grades and scores. I just hope that in this short time, you all KNOW that.
Apr. 14th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
Oops! There was more at the end
And whatever happens, nothing changes that fact.
Apr. 16th, 2008 10:40 am (UTC)
I'm 15,too
My friend(wait a minute,have you and I are friend yet?),I must tell you sometimes,no,all the time I think about aldulthood,what will I do,where to go,what kind of people will I marry...etc...It's waste a lot of time but I can't stop it.All of us often use the childhood to think 'bout aldulthood and when we're aldult,remember what did childhood like(!?),it's real.
Most of my friends say I'm so wasts time with the clothes that not like a teen,that I aren't a 15 girl,I'm a woman belong to the 15 century...:)
When you are a teenager,there must be sometimes childish and sometimes aldult,that's normal when in a border.We maybe angry when people call we "kid"...But sometimes we feel like just want to fall in mom's arms,be hold,be acting like a kid,play games and think nothing,just want to a kid,and sometime really want to be an aldult to don't have to go to school,dance and...Okay now I'm getting silly ideas.However,we're just 15,right?
Apr. 16th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
Re: I'm 15,too
I don't really think about who I'm going to marry, like I don't plan my wedding and crap like some people do, haha..I just WONDER how it'll be. I dunno, it's weird. :)
Apr. 17th, 2008 09:56 am (UTC)
Re: I'm 15,too
Okay,you're Pepp,15 and devil.
I'm Carmen(one nick),15 and devil.
You're devilpepp,i'm devilcarmen.
If you think I'm(maybe)interesting,you can contact me at devilcarmen@gmail.com.If you don't that's okay,I accustomed with nobody visit it :)
Apr. 17th, 2008 04:15 pm (UTC)
Re: I'm 15,too
I'm actually Eva. :) And I'm not a devil. I made that name up from my friends shoe brand or something...Now I wish I didn't. I might make another one up someday, because sometimes people get bad impressions.
You sound pretty interesting, but I don't use email, so, I guess that won't work. :)
See you around :)
Jul. 10th, 2008 10:47 am (UTC)
Re: I'm 15,too
Sorry if I replied too late
I was to busy to attend new school...Now it's over today I start my summer plan!I think devil is not thing at all...just a nick name...I'm now better be called pig or Worm...:)
Jul. 10th, 2008 10:57 am (UTC)
I think I've acted like I'm thirty,that I was boring ,like my friends said...but 2 days ago I came to realized that I'm teen-my-way and the real boring thing is try to follow others ,be what they want ,be what they like but not be myself!!YOu know ,when I listen to "no matter what",others' word is turned to no matter what!!!Be myself,teen my way and I'll be happy...
You know ,the world in front of the teen's eyes are so complicated and strange ,that when we were a kid and when we are an adult ,we can't see...Enjoy ourself ,enjoy the teen life that never come back and run out easily like sand in our hands!!
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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